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“I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire 'em.”

Jack L. Warner quotes (Canadian film Producer (brother of Harry M. Warner), 1892-1978)

About: Funny quotes, Relatives quotes.

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31-40 Quotations of 116

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“I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.”

Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)

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“Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos”

Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958)
Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes

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“If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers”

Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958)
Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes

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“You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.”

Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958)
Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes

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“I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.”

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“I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Comedy quotes.

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“Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtained from them...”

Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958)
Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes

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“A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”

George W. Bush quotes (American 43rd US President since 2001. b.1946)

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“Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.”

Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958)
Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes

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