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“The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Knowledge quotes.
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“All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Courage quotes.
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“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Danger quotes.
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“Mother's words of wisdom: "Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!"”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Wisdom quotes, Food quotes.
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“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Television quotes.
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“A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on."”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Ideas quotes.
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“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" "Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" "Wasn't there any change?"”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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