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“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.”
Fran Lebowitz quotes (American Writer and Humorist, b.1950)
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“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
Lynda Montgomery quotes
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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Emo Philips quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Forgiveness quotes.
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“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”
Warren Hutcherson quotes
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.
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“Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think”
Tom Wilson quotes (American actor, writer and comedian)
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
santiz
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“You can say any foolish thing to do to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'”
Dave Berry quotes (English musician, b.1941)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, God quotes.
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“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
Paula Poundstone quotes (American Comic, b.1959)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Funny quotes, Adulthood quotes, Ideas quotes.
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