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“I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.”
Fran Lebowitz quotes (American Writer and Humorist, b.1950)
About: Funny quotes, Chance quotes.
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“Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think”
Tom Wilson quotes (American actor, writer and comedian)
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Divorce quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
Calvin & Hobbes quotes (Fictional characters from the comic series created by Bill Watterson.)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)
Similar Quotes. About: Cute quotes, Funny quotes, World quotes.
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“Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework”
Bill Cosby quotes (American Actor, Comedian and Producer. b.1937, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Education quotes, Sex quotes, Children quotes, Funny quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Pessimism quotes, Optimism quotes.
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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Emo Philips quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Forgiveness quotes.
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“Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.”
Benny Hill quotes (English Comedian and Humorist, 1924-1992)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
santiz
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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