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 Authors > Ellb Eno > Emo Philips
11-20 Quotations of 42

Emo Philips quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady take your purse."”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming... They don't know I'm only using blanks.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.”

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